I was the sun, I was the only son Until I ran away and joined your band We hide out in the desert sea You’re my happy bivouac bomb pop baby We drive drive drive all day long Burn up all the gasoline, up to the sun In my dreams we’re more than friends I wear your old clothes and the road trip never ends Come home I miss you so much Get off that highway as fast as possible! August 21, 2017 I drove to you under the hot sun With the seatbelt wrapped like an arm around my chest You said “Before I aim, I want to touch it” I didn’t hold my breath when we fell out of the sky For a minute and 51 seconds I held your hand in the air above the land And it became my everything as it split in two over my head Now the point of all this is Is that I love you, and I mean it Island of two Brown and blue like the desert sea Island of two Island of you and me Keep driving, baby

Life in neutral A spinning boxfan in the corner of the room Twin bed, wasting time in your head Hand in hand pinned down in the sand My limbs die quiet around your arm With the rise and fall of your chest It’s alternative rock Bound by gravitational force Mountains of porphyritic texture Who’s fine and who’s coarse? You’re so much bigger than me Let’s get out and get something to eat I want to be the air in the pull of your cigarette I want to wake up to a gun against my head Hair pulled in every direction Kiss me as if every moment will be an emergency Feel the springs break beneath my back My home is you, back on the moon, snowing in June I’ll keep a secret and leave it with you if that’s cool Life in neutral Truck with the single seat A central vanishing point on the horizon And the way it feels when you put me on wheels True happiness out the speakers Windows down at an ear splitting 90 mph Cloudy and warm It’s you and I and what we could’ve been doing this entire time The power of a cheap cassette audio jack I sketch the sky and add the drum track I am the sleeveless shirt wrapped around your chest Clinging to life like a plastic bag in the wind You are the gas to the engine of my mind Twin guitars panned left and right I need you to drive because it doesn’t feel right Standing still anywhere Tank half empty or tank half full I don’t care because It’s alternative rock Blue and red Like Bonnie and Clyde Balthier and Fran Jimmy and Kim Frodo and Sam Sam and Max Eusebius and Florestan Just not so... Germanic Every rock in the desert radiates a quiet style Of sonic air on bright blue skies And it’s the only thing that fulfills this life And it might really suck Now that you have to eat and I have to feed you But eating bad ramen can be fun too I'll just drink a whole case of you whenever I feel blue Nothing attainable but the experience of an attempt And an attempt was made The journey, not the destination The process, not the goal Never stop moving, everything I need is right here with me I want to trade thoughts and parts and Pokémon cards Find shit in the desert to sell for parts I feel young and I know I’ll only be young once A temporary thing, our clothesline on the beach But I always keep two reviver seeds on me Me and my pal in a tortoise shell How fast can we go? I want it all to be true And mine and plain and tight and on time Bear with me I’m scared I’m only learning to drive But I want it I want it I want it I got nothin’ to lose I don’t want to be human I want to be honest I want to be present with you You got that turn of the century general motor smile I’d like to stay by your side for a while I need a man a man a man a man a A blue and red all my own Me and Armie all day long You know you make way more progress on an empty road Tired of matching the speed of the car in front of me And every time I drive I remember the way you made me feel Not just less alone but fully alive You can stand in the sea with your back to me I’ll fall asleep in the cab as the sun shines down Quietly hoping we’ll never be found

They’re picking teams Red and blue every time it’s a setup To sell identity away just to have someone to blame To get high every time at the compromise Of ride or die for the rest of their life Call and response to feel like they belong Repetition stays strong way past the point it all goes wrong An old religion Worship until I forget what I used to love Tell me I’m making sense, I’m afraid Still pretending the two of us can live on petty cash Only ever watching tv to project myself Full brightness, zero contrast A chaser that doesn’t chase out of fear of a tangy aftertaste I drink and I drink til it all comes back up Ruin the only time I ever fell in love They’ve got me by the balls, August they got me I don’t want to admit it But I want to show you off like it’s a public event And it’s a slippery slope but I I just see that everyone else gets to And I want my own red and blue They get off on their acceptance But I kiss you cause I want it When my love’s the size of mountains All the standbys will be jealous With their useless mating rituals They eat so much meat for breakfast Repeat history and tradition To make all the children headless, helpless And that’s why I hate when they try to look so brave Now everyone must serve the same brain Through every commercial mistake I can kill more than just my family name Pig sooie pig sue me I take a hard left, hard right Just to slide in reverse for the pervert collective mind Where the only thing that’s clean Is the home I want you to be And that’s how I know it’s all fucked up Cause you’re exactly what I want you to be I’m trying to be as honest as possible But I can’t tell what thoughts are my own I’m starting to realize you’re all ego In every genre I know No more zodiac signs No flags of pride RAZORBACK RED And all the fags of pride Haha In this second I give you I’m completely vulnerable And I want you to know what that means Please don’t take advantage of me Flinch when you take off your shirt Shame Is that why you run away Are you afraid to be the devil’s red wife A beautiful gingham girl As gorgeous as you I’m getting blind drunk tonight Are you in or are you out August Cause I’m out of my goddamn mind You’re gone once I get too close to the track Yet I fall apart so fast the second you leave my grasp And you just look back And you just look back Razorback red If I don’t get what I want I’ll make it out of mud and eat it up My fuckin skin it makes me sick And they get off on it DON'T TOUCH ME I hate the way they look at you I don’t want to love this shade of red Dirt water red Bone rot red Blood fucking red My razorback’s dead It’s ok Nothing on earth left for me But I can’t I can’t sleep without your arm around me My sweet desert gasoline I wanna roll up my window Lean back in my chair And drown in it

Monkey see monkey do Monkey see monkey do Black hole between the flickering flames, fucking dying Not enough I’m outside, I’m waiting outside Filthy sourdough skin The scum of the earth, scum, scum, scum Outside, outside All my worlds are colliding Everyone will know what I’ve done Lying in waste and selfish excess Guilty treasure in the park Never getting what I want Never getting what I want One thing leads to another and it’s never enough Like an addict Sleeping in the cab and on the street Hopelessly enamored with absolutely nothing Nothing nothing You led me on You led me on What a gas haha what a gas I’m sorry All choked up Can we please just stay in the truck? I wish I could know how to take the engine apart To see how it all works To create something divine to transcend the fear to survive For those times when all you can hear is the fire and the sounds of the night Cause everything I do is a distraction Left to rot and die at the hands of time Everyone adding to the pile Clipped nails On old fretboards Rusty, plastic dread Sleep deprived, hungover One bite to eat and I’m immediately nauseous Anxious with a rusty, plastic, rusty, plastic dread Peeking down through the sewer gate Ambered, delusional And I feel so empty inside Watching it all slip away Quiet into an empty starless sky Sometimes the best part of being in love Is feeling sorry for myself Put you on as I fall asleep The way you smother me The dream I need to justify the means Of using you to carry me The actual honest truth Is that you are the complete absence of honesty It’s impossible not to worship a purpose No man is an island, unfortunately But you’ll die inside a computer I’m both sad and relieved I can admit that you’re not real As I sit in the car and freeze I walk through the filth and you follow me Another dead thing in the street No matter where you go you always fit in And it really bothers me It’s obvious now While every bit of life gets divvied up And hung to dry above the drain I find myself giving up But you’re just too cute

Out of money by the railway My sweet escape Has failed to save me again And you can hide your banana heart from me But I watch it sway Every single day Every relationship is just miscommunication But you’re the universal language I am my own and misinterpreted By dry mouth and expletives I made you up and now I’m down No face to match the love you’ve made me feel I want to love you like a sister again I tip the cow and sputter out Gasoline and whisky water running down If there could be an honest love Where hands are finally judged Not by their shape But how they place around the I Your dominance just feels so wrong It holds me down way too long Way too long way too long I need to move on

If I get out of bed and do a good day’s work will you fly me home? Break the membrane in my head Be my everything, I’m yours to own The me that’s in my head gets arrested by the microphone The colors of the keys just never mix I wish that I could know How to make the desert breathe Without apology, just living how I want to be All by myself You said Get well soon And come back tomorrow And set things straight I need you to It was the creak in your voice The whole heart of something I’ll never forget all the Feelings that get me I want it preserved Everything that I am But when the laboring men Broke their limbs for their families I cried on their backs And tried to feel for their bellies A spoiled bitch A useless kid Take the trash out tonight And put a weight on the lid It’s fine You eclipse my life If I’m a waste of space And I don’t clean the plates You can send me to college Just to fill the dates Cause if it’s four more years Living a lonely fear I want a healthy sob Let out whenever I need it I want a big square room Where I can scream as I please I want to live on the moon And cuddle up in my sleep With thoughts of pretty chords To fill my pretty dreams I want a drummer boyfriend And a goddamn place to go home And I can’t make music I like I almost wish I wouldn’t try It’s the pain of passing time You eclipse my life You take me to the moon and back I love you to the moon and back The moon and back

Communicate through tape The things that we never could say Walk out into the rain The trees and the sky, all perfectly framed When I forget my name Slumped against the bars on the train Communicate through tape Explode out of my head, untethered At the end of it all, I miss you a lot And at the end of it all, I miss you Communicate through tape Communicate through tape And at the end of it all, I miss you a lot Please don’t let it die so soon For you I’ll be an honest blue I’m going home “After all, what I really love is the pursuit of him” Oh, my god No man is an island but I am, I am I am the sun